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Citation Station: Stupid Jokes

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    tead?

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      CommentAuthorkeir
    • CommentTimeApr 7th 2008
     

    sorry

  3.  

    why?

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      CommentAuthorkeir
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     

    well everyone here seems to be obsessed with spelling and punctuation i feel if i spell something wrong the rath of fact check forums is sent upon me and i will get erased

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      CommentAuthorcmseagle
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     
    Posted By: keir

    rath

    It's wrath.

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      CommentAuthorTrance
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     
    Posted By: cmseagle
    Posted By: keir

    rath

    It's wrath.

    It's deadly wrath.

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      CommentAuthorUdoboy
    • CommentTimeApr 11th 2008
     
    Posted By: keir

    well everyone here seems to be obsessed with spelling and punctuation i feel if i spell something wrong the rath of fact check forums is sent upon me and i will get erased

    We also bitch about run-on sentences like the one you posted though I see nothing wrong with it I've heard Athene becomes truly irate as women will do sometimes when they see things that bother them and often they do.

  8.  

    women don't all become irate at the drop of a pin you sexist pig i dont really think youre a sexist pig im just joking with you

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      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeApr 11th 2008
     
    Posted By: Udoboy

    We also bitch about run-on sentences like the one you posted though I see nothing wrong with it I've heard Athene becomes truly irate as women will do sometimes when they see things that bother them and often they do.

    You're cruising for a smiting, pal!

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      CommentAuthorkeir
    • CommentTimeApr 13th 2008
     

    my point exactly

  11.  

    I have this feeling that you're prolly on the shorter side, kind of skinny, with long brown hair...You don't talk to many people outside of your group, but when you're with them, you're a jabbermouth...There's also this girl you want so bad to talk to, but you know you would die if she looked you in the eyes, right?
    RIGHT?

    (I'm trying out my psychic skills. According to Parade magazine, they get paid more than me. I must learn the ways.)

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      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeApr 13th 2008
     
    Posted By: Athene

    You're cruising for a smiting, pal!

    Posted By: keir

    my point exactly

    Don't worry, I wouldn't smite you until I know you better. I'm not that kind of goddess...

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      CommentAuthorkeir
    • CommentTimeApr 14th 2008 edited
     
    Posted By: tossedoffabridge

    I have this feeling that you're prolly on the shorter side, kind of skinny, with long brown hair...You don't talk to many people outside of your group, but when you're with them, you're a jabbermouth...There's also this girl you want so bad to talk to, but you know you would die if she looked you in the eyes, right?
    RIGHT?

    (I'm trying out my psychic skills. According to Parade magazine, they get paid more than me. I must learn the ways.)

    you need to do bit of work on those psychic skills im tall fairly well build blonde i talk a lot mostly a load of nonsense to anyone who cares to listen or dosent and girls i just take me for a mad man or achoholic

    Posted By: Athene

    Don't worry, I wouldn't smite you until I know you better. I'm not that kind of goddess...[/p]

    you have already smiten (smited?) me

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      CommentAuthorTrance
    • CommentTimeApr 14th 2008
     
    Posted By: keir

    i just take me for a mad man or achoholic

    Here are my two psychic cents: You have low self esteem.

  15.  
    Posted By: Trance
    Posted By: keir

    i just take me for a mad man or achoholic

    Here are my two psychic cents: You have low self esteem.

    I ALREADY SAID THAT!
    ...
    okay, so I didn't, but I meant to.

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      CommentAuthorkeir
    • CommentTimeApr 15th 2008
     

    well i have low self esteem yet am incredibly happy all the time:bigsmile:

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      CommentAuthorUdoboy
    • CommentTimeApr 16th 2008
     
    Posted By: tossedoffabridge

    women don't all become irate at the drop of a pin you sexist pig i dont really think youre a sexist pig im just joking with you

    i dont think you really were joking i think you just said that to cover up how you truly were irate then realized that i was right about all women like i being a man always am right and you being a woman always are irate

  18.  

    i have no response to give you because any response i may give other than this one of course will certainly make you think that i am irate which i am not and men arnt always right did you hear about the man who was driving down the road and a woman passed his from the opposite direction and screamed pig and he screamed back bitch then hit a pig in the road and died it just goes to show that men should listen to women because they are mostly right

    God, that's hard to do.

  19.  
    Posted By: tossedoffabridge

    men should listen to women because they are mostly right

    God, that's hard to do.

    That's xactly y i don't listen to women because then they say i told you so and mak me look bad id rather mak my own mistaks

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      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2008
     

    You certainly made enough of them!

    • CommentAuthorC'est Moi
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2008
     
    Posted By: tossedoffabridge

    I have this feeling that you're prolly on the shorter side, kind of skinny, with long brown hair...You don't talk to many people outside of your group, but when you're with them, you're a jabbermouth...There's also this girl you want so bad to talk to, but you know you would die if she looked you in the eyes, right?
    RIGHT?

    (I'm trying out my psychic skills. According to Parade magazine, they get paid more than me. I must learn the ways.)

    You just described me....

    Except I'm fairly tall

    Try and hone your psychic skills your getting the wrong person

  22.  

    I described myself, minus the kind of skinny. If I put "average in every way except verically," i would have been more on-target...And I don't really want to talk to that girl, but more like that guy...

    Not that that matters. I knew I felt a certain vibe from somewhere, I just couldn't place the person. You're right, maybe I do need more practice.:cry:

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      CommentAuthorkeir
    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2008
     

    has any one heard of derren brown he's like one of the most awsome physic type guys ever you can find him on 4od if your in england

  24.  

    Why don't you use punctuation??? I mean, it doesn't have to be correct, god knows mine isn't, but a period or comma here and there would be fantastic. I'm honest-to-god not a grammar nazi, but I have no idea what

    Posted By: keir

    has any one heard of derren brown he's like one of the most awsome physic type guys ever you can find him on 4od if your in england

    means...

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      CommentAuthorkeir
    • CommentTimeApr 25th 2008
     

    yer an i go to a grammar school

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      CommentAuthorTrance
    • CommentTimeApr 25th 2008
     
    Posted By: tossedoffabridge

    I have no idea what

    Posted By: keir

    has any one heard of derren brown he's like one of the most awsome physic type guys ever you can find him on 4od if your in england

    means...

    Has anybody heard of Derren Brown? He's like one of the most awesome psychic type guys ever, you can find him on 4od if you're in England.

  27.  

    Oh, thanks, Trance.

    No, Keir, I haven't heard of Derren Brown. Is he a TV psychic or a phone man, or what? And what is 4od? I'm a hick from Wyoming and have no idea what it is.

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      CommentAuthorTrance
    • CommentTimeApr 25th 2008 edited
     
  29.  

    Ah, you English people just kill me.

    What's proper-English, British, what? (I'm not lamely attempting humor, I'm serious.)

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      CommentAuthorTrance
    • CommentTimeApr 28th 2008
     
    Posted By: tossedoffabridge

    Ah, you English people just kill me.

    What's proper-English, British, what? (I'm not lamely attempting humor, I'm serious.)

    Is that a dig at my English?

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      CommentAuthorkeir
    • CommentTimeApr 28th 2008
     

    so now many people here are actually english? not saying that this site should be exclusive or anything, im just wondering?

  32.  

    I'm from wyomin', if that matters...

    Posted By: Trance
    Posted By: tossedoffabridge

    Ah, you English people just kill me.

    What's proper-English, British, what? (I'm not lamely attempting humor, I'm serious.)

    Is that a dig at my English?

    Nope <3

    • CommentAuthorC'est Moi
    • CommentTimeApr 29th 2008
     

    I'm English although due to the fact I'm from Devon everyone seems to assume I speak in a very deep mumbly voice penetrated by the odd tra'er.

    You'll all be sorry when the Cornish invade and we join their side...

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      CommentAuthorUdoboy
    • CommentTimeMay 2nd 2008
     
    Posted By: tossedoffabridge

    I knew I felt a certain vibe from somewhere, [/p]

    It's probably an earthquake.

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      CommentAuthorTwinch
    • CommentTime2 days ago
     

    A bear walks into a bar and says "A pint of beer................................................and a packet of crisps"
    The barman says "Why the long pause?"

    An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar and the barman says "Is this some kind of a joke?"

    To "C'est Moi" you start the invasion from Devon and I'll start from Tyneside and we can meet somehwere in the middle!

    • CommentAuthorqwerty123
    • CommentTime14 hours ago edited
     

    always a fan favorite when i tell it:

    it's closing time at the bar and a police officer has parked across the street from the bar waiting to nab a few drunk drivers. one man, clearly drunk, stumbles out of the bar; the officer watches the man go to 5 or 6 different cars and try his key, finally he finds the right car and opens it. during this time a few more people have left the bar. the officer watches as the first man fumbles with the controls in his car, he manages to turn on the windshield wipers, the hazard lights, and honk the horn a few times. as the parking lot empties a little more the man finally gets his car running starts to back up, coming to jerky stops every few feet. the officer can hardly wait for the man to leave the lot. finally, the parking lot has only three cars left and the drunk man pulls out onto the street. the officer immediately pulls the man over and gives him a breathalyzer, but is shocked when it reads .00; confused the officer says, "well we are going to need to take you to the station to get a breathalyzer that isn't broken. the man just smiles and says, "i don't think that will be necessary, tonight im the designated decoy"

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