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Citation Station: what is human combustion??

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  1.  
    • CommentAuthorRedGreg
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2006
     

    what is human combustion??

    • CommentAuthorLyet
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2006
     

    Spontaneous human combustion is what happens to people who don't use Google.

    Aww, damn, I was going to be serious here.

    Okay. *clears throat* Spontaneous human combustion is a theory that chemical reactions in the body can go horribly, HORRIBLY AWRY!! leading to your body basically consuming itself down to ash in a matter of near moments.

    Of course, there are other theories that explain the remnants, but I prefer the one that causes you to lay awake at night in terror.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMrFingers
    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2006
     

    It's basically when you hit that perfect fart.

    •  
      CommentAuthorUdoboy
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2006
     

    In 2004 a man consumed three diablo negro peppers in the worlds first and only diablo negro pepper eating contest. The lining of his esophagus and stomach were destroyed in a matter of seconds, and the chemical reaction continued throughout his body. He died in 4 minutes, 23 seconds.

    This is the most recent example of human combustion.

  5.  
    Posted By: RedGreg

    what is human combustion??

    Simply put, human combustion is when, for whatever reason, we decide to consume a human body by means of fire.

    The most common form of human combustion, of course, is cremation of the dead. Slightly less common is the use of human bodies as firewood when a party of humans, some living and some dead, are stranded in a remote location. For instance, while it's not commonly known - largely because the concept of human cannibalism is so much more sensational - but the infamous Donner Party, along with eating several of their dead, also used a large number of them for heating and cooking fuel.

    Similarly, the bodies of several thousand Egyptian mummies were used as combustible fuel sources during the last century, most of them being used in (normally) coal-fed steam trains.

    These are a few instances of human combustion. I hope these answers have been of help to you. There is also a mythical phenomenon known as "spontaneous human combustion", which has been shown to actually be a perfectly natural combustion process known as the "wick effect", but, as you didn't specify -spontaneous- human combustion, I assume you have no interest in that.

    •  
      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2006
     

    You beat me to it, Devil's Advocate. And, may I add, you're spot-on. There is also a tribe of islanders in the Sandwich Islands that regularly use the funeral pyres of the recently deceased as cooking fuel, as their island is quite rocky and fuel is sometimes hard to come by.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMrFingers
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2006
     

    no he definitely was talking about spontaneous combustion. think about it, why would he ask about burning a body?

    •  
      CommentAuthorGeog
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2006
     

    Yeah. Spontaneous combustion. USE UR HEADS!!!1

    I watched a Discovery channel thingy about this topic. Apparently there were a few cases, but they were suspected to be the careless handling of cigarettes or something. SMOKE KILLS!

    Besides, this doesn't make any sense. What kind of God would want his people to explode? :shocked:

    •  
      CommentAuthorMrFingers
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2006 edited
     

    well irrationality aside :crazy:
    what puzzles me is how an object that is 70% water is supposed to disappear in a puff of smoke....

    •  
      CommentAuthorGeog
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2006
     

    Maybe we're THAT flammable.

    Btw, congrats on your 200thpost!

    •  
      CommentAuthorMrFingers
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2006
     

    lol, i hadnt spotted that :) thanks!

    •  
      CommentAuthorFunnyman22
    • CommentTimeSep 14th 2006 edited
     
    Posted By: Geog

    Besides, this doesn't make any sense. What kind of God would want his people to explode? :shocked:

    One that prefers his/her subjects to go out in a BLAZE of glory rather than just keeling over :confused:

    •  
      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeSep 14th 2006
     

    Well, they do say "ashes to ashes, dust to dust"...

    I didn't realize this was going to be such a hot topic.

    •  
      CommentAuthorAdinsx
    • CommentTimeSep 14th 2006
     

    We should stop punning before Legatissimo boils over.

    • CommentAuthormigrena
    • CommentTimeSep 14th 2006 edited
     
    Posted By: MrFingers

    what puzzles me is how an object that is 70% water is supposed to disappear in a puff of smoke....

    human body produce quite a lot electricity, combine that with water and you have electrolysis, then a little spark and *PUF*
    yeah, can call that blaze of glory :devil:

    •  
      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeSep 14th 2006
     
    Posted By: Adinsx

    We should stop punning before Legatissimo boils over.

    Yeah, he does tend to be a little hotheaded. I'll stop now - I really don't want a flame war with him...

  17.  

    Even if he didn't let it develop into an immediate conflagration, it could still be a hot spot that would smoulder for quite a while, eventually hitting a smoke-point and then, out of nowhere, he could have us all fired.

    •  
      CommentAuthorUdoboy
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2006
     

    What are y'all talking about? Legat is one cool cat. Ice een him once run into a freize and he wasn't angry at all.

    •  
      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2006
     

    It seems as though the original point of this thread has totally evaporated. I'm sure Legatissimo is getting a little steamed by now. Poor guy, he works so hard to keep us simmered down, then out of nowhere, something like this boils up.

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      CommentAuthorElixer
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2006 edited
     

    I hope it doesn't boil over, because then we'll be out of the frying pan and into the fire. And you don't want to be down the creek without a paddle. But, alas, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

    •  
      CommentAuthorGeog
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2006
     

    If you can't stand the heat, then shut up.

    •  
      CommentAuthorFunnyman22
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2006
     

    Well, shit or get off the pot...

    Wait... I don't think I understand how this whole pun thing works.... :confused:

    •  
      CommentAuthorMrFingers
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2006
     

    *pees in leggie's pocket*

    *shakes* I like to do things the simple way.

    • CommentAuthorswimlax
    • CommentTimeApr 16th 2007
     

    I am new on the forums, but after seeing all this on spontanious human combustion i have a small story.

    Someone I know at one point on a business trip had gone to a bar after a day at work
    The person has gotten fairly drunk and had decided to light a cigarette. When
    finished, concidering they were in a very nice hotel, with no ashtray to be seen, and after
    a few drinks, the man pocketed the cigarette and walked into the hotel lobby. The man,
    the night before, had watched a discovery channel special on spontanious human
    combustion, was convinced thia had happened to him when the smoldering cigarette
    burst his pants into flame in the lobby of a very nice hotel. The man was convinced
    that he was a victim of this until he sobered up the next morning and realized his
    mistake.

    •  
      CommentAuthorYika
    • CommentTimeApr 16th 2007
     
    Posted By: swimlax

    I am new on the forums, but after seeing all this on spontanious human combustion i have a small story.

    Someone I know at one point on a business trip had gone to a bar after a day at work
    The person has gotten fairly drunk and had decided to light a cigarette. When
    finished, concidering they were in a very nice hotel, with no ashtray to be seen, and after
    a few drinks, the man pocketed the cigarette and walked into the hotel lobby. The man,
    the night before, had watched a discovery channel special on spontanious human
    combustion, was convinced thia had happened to him when the smoldering cigarette
    burst his pants into flame in the lobby of a very nice hotel. The man was convinced
    that he was a victim of this until he sobered up the next morning and realized his
    mistake.

    :cry:

    •  
      CommentAuthorCody56
    • CommentTimeApr 16th 2007
     

    I think spontaneous combustion happens when an old person who has arthritis walks through the desert. I'll explain:
    In the desert, there is very little humidity, which causes objects to more easily catch on fire. When people have arthritis, there joints rub together. I think you can see my point now.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTrance
    • CommentTimeApr 16th 2007
     

    But then it wouldn't be completely spontaneous.

    • CommentAuthorswimlax
    • CommentTimeMay 2nd 2007
     

    although, i would be very surpised,
    1. to see an old person in the desert, mostly due to the fact i would be surprised to find myself in the desert
    2. To see and old person catch on fire
    If i saw an old person catch fire i would be laughing too hard to help them

    •  
      CommentAuthorCody56
    • CommentTimeMay 2nd 2007
     

    Sadist...

  30.  

    I wonder what the effects are with the rise in perfume/cologne use and smoking? *Poof*

  31.  

    In Europe now there is an EEC directive that sets a maximum for perfume and cologne emissions.

  32.  

    human combustion is when a persons body ignites or burns with no source of fuel or ingition
    its random

    you stupid bastard

  33.  

    devils advocate you are stupid. that is not what human cambustion is at all. and besides. it looks like you copy and pasted that response from some stupid website that tries to look like it knows what its talkin about. you are an idiot

    •  
      CommentAuthorRot Bottom
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2007
     

    Wow. When the fuck did we start getting trolls in here?

    •  
      CommentAuthorTrance
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2007
     
    Posted By: stallion494

    human combustion is when a persons body ignites or burns with no source of fuel or ingition

    BUZZ. The body IS the fuel for the fire, and how can a body ignites if there is no source of ignition?

    •  
      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2007
     
    Posted By: stallion494

    devils advocate you are stupid. that is not what human cambustion is at all. and besides. it looks like you copy and pasted that response from some stupid website that tries to look like it knows what its talkin about. you are an idiot

    I'm sorry, but before you start calling names, read the question first. Your answer: "human combustion is when a persons body ignites or burns with no source of fuel or ingition its random" is not only grammatically incorrect (hint - the apostrophe is our friend), it's also wrong in the context of the question. What you're referring to is spontaneous human combustion, when the question only asked what "human combustion" was. Now, it's probably true that the spontaneous variety was what was intended, but as it wasn't what was asked, our answers to the question were certainly correct, given that the most widely accepted definition of combustion is "the act or process of burning".

  37.  

    And to add insult to injury, Stallion is completely wrong. There is ALWAYS a source of ignition. There must be a temperature present that can cause the material to ignite. This can be from many places, atomic particles, a rise in temperature to beyond the ignition point, a flame etc. The other important thing is that there must be a transfer of heat to the combustible material to achieve that temperature and that higher temperature must be maintained for the combustion to continue.

    Ignorance of the source does not mean it did not exist.

    •  
      CommentAuthorcmseagle
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2007
     
    Posted By: stallion494

    human combustion is when a persons body ignites or burns with no source of fuel or ingition
    its random

    You are also scientifically wrong. Combustion is defined as a reaction between a substance and oxygen, releasing heat. If I lit my dog on fire, it would be canine combustion. If I lit my sister on fire, it would be human combustion.

    Stallion, next time you decide to insult us, at least put as much time into your research as we put into ours.

    •  
      CommentAuthorRot Bottom
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2007
     
    Posted By: Athene

    (hint - the apostrophe is our friend)

    And more importantly, the comma.

    •  
      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeDec 11th 2007 edited
     
    Posted By: Rot Bottom
    Posted By: Athene

    (hint - the apostrophe is our friend)

    And more importantly, the comma.

    I wanted to add that, but didn't want to confuse him.

    I'd also like to point out the function of the <Shift> key on the keyboard....

    •  
      CommentAuthorTaed
    • CommentTimeDec 11th 2007
     

    I have a closer relationship with the semicolon than either of us are comfortable with...

    •  
      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeDec 11th 2007
     

    Why that low-down, cheating, no-good punctuation mark. The semicolon swore it would be mine forever. Liar!!

  43.  

    I'd rather you didn't talk about colons at the moment. (Or periods)

  44.  

    Are you having poo problems? That'd be my definition of human combustion.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTaed
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2007
     

    I had a one-night stand with an interobang, and came away with a bad case of umlaut. Itchy!

    •  
      CommentAuthorUdoboy
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2007
     

    Good thing you didn't catch the dieresis.

    •  
      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2007
     

    You guys are a bunch of dipthongs.

  48.  

    Please, a few less of these dire, critical remarks.

    •  
      CommentAuthorAthene
    • CommentTimeDec 13th 2007
     

    Comma now. This is getting ridiculous. My great-aunt Tilde would be rolling over in her grave. I'm officially putting a full stop to this. Period!

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